I must have been fooling myself to think that people would have noticed that I haven’t posted in more than a month.
So far, the only person inquiring about my blogs have been my mom, and even then, only to let me know that she can’t find them (because she can’t remember how to spell my name? Not sure.)
So to no one in particular – I’m back!
Thank you, thank you!
It is probably pathetic to write a post about the reasons for not writing regularly. Or worse, it might come across like I am plagued with a guilty conscience or hopelessly insecure . But I’ve learned a few interesting things over the past five weeks that I think are worth sharing.
Occupational Incompetence:
Ever notice how quickly the guy or gal with all those great ideas becomes a complete idiot the day after he/she’s finally given the responsibility to fix what they’ve been complaining about?
So that kind of happened to me. My blog generated interest beyond my loyal circle of readers (mom and her Mah-jongg group), and I was contacted by a representative from a marketing firm that signed me to a deal (hooray!) that would give me a shot at reaching a global audience.
Don’t get excited – there’s no money crossing hands here; its like an internship I suppose.
Just like that, the pipeline closed down. Nothing. Not a shred of an idea.
Overnight I went from Hero to Zero.
The Blah Days of Summer
The second interesting thing is something that isn’t happening. Specifically, my fifteen year old Asperger boy is spending his summer doing absolutely nothing. Oh, we tried to enroll him in college courses, tried to get him to camp, tried about everything short of enlisting him in the Bolivian Army, but nothing seemed to fit “just right.”
And so, he spends his days in front of my computer playing Runescape – one of the many “Second Life” variants that give those with less than perfect social skills a chance to shine and live a life of riches and power beyond their parent’s feeble ability to provide.
I think he’s like a gazillionaire with mighty hoards of beasts slaving for him – What does that say about his future career interests? Maybe Bolivia is too tame for him?
I literally trip over him when I come home for lunch, when I come home for dinner, and when I get ready to go to bed.
My whole groove has been thrown off . I need my room to be my room if I am going to write. I’ve come to appreciate that the writing experience is so much more than pen and paper (or keyboard and screen) – it requires a mindset and a degree of comfort with your surroundings.
On another level, the experience of just seeing him there, practically limp and lifeless, without so much energy as a potted plant – it just does something to me. I feel repulsed maybe? Disgusted with the whole computer thing? Like I’d rather do something else instead?
So what’s changed for me now that I have suddenly rediscovered the “magic?” I’m not sure. Maybe I’ve grown accustomed to this depressing scene and it doesn’t bother me as much anymore?
I have yet to complete my first post for the big guys and I am beginning to wonder if I might be frightened at the thought of putting my kids on display to such a large audience.
It’s Your Turn To Share: How do you recapture your ability to open up and communicate when things seem to be shutting down?
LJ
Why Johnny Can’t Write
August 10, 2010 in Commentary, General Info, Raising Children, The Writing Craft | Tags: blogging, Computer, depression, Runescape, Writers block | 2 comments
I must have been fooling myself to think that people would have noticed that I haven’t posted in more than a month.
So far, the only person inquiring about my blogs have been my mom, and even then, only to let me know that she can’t find them (because she can’t remember how to spell my name? Not sure.)
So to no one in particular – I’m back!
Thank you, thank you!
It is probably pathetic to write a post about the reasons for not writing regularly. Or worse, it might come across like I am plagued with a guilty conscience or hopelessly insecure . But I’ve learned a few interesting things over the past five weeks that I think are worth sharing.
Occupational Incompetence:
Ever notice how quickly the guy or gal with all those great ideas becomes a complete idiot the day after he/she’s finally given the responsibility to fix what they’ve been complaining about?
So that kind of happened to me. My blog generated interest beyond my loyal circle of readers (mom and her Mah-jongg group), and I was contacted by a representative from a marketing firm that signed me to a deal (hooray!) that would give me a shot at reaching a global audience.
Don’t get excited – there’s no money crossing hands here; its like an internship I suppose.
Just like that, the pipeline closed down. Nothing. Not a shred of an idea.
Overnight I went from Hero to Zero.
The Blah Days of Summer
The second interesting thing is something that isn’t happening. Specifically, my fifteen year old Asperger boy is spending his summer doing absolutely nothing. Oh, we tried to enroll him in college courses, tried to get him to camp, tried about everything short of enlisting him in the Bolivian Army, but nothing seemed to fit “just right.”
And so, he spends his days in front of my computer playing Runescape – one of the many “Second Life” variants that give those with less than perfect social skills a chance to shine and live a life of riches and power beyond their parent’s feeble ability to provide.
I think he’s like a gazillionaire with mighty hoards of beasts slaving for him – What does that say about his future career interests? Maybe Bolivia is too tame for him?
I literally trip over him when I come home for lunch, when I come home for dinner, and when I get ready to go to bed.
My whole groove has been thrown off . I need my room to be my room if I am going to write. I’ve come to appreciate that the writing experience is so much more than pen and paper (or keyboard and screen) – it requires a mindset and a degree of comfort with your surroundings.
On another level, the experience of just seeing him there, practically limp and lifeless, without so much energy as a potted plant – it just does something to me. I feel repulsed maybe? Disgusted with the whole computer thing? Like I’d rather do something else instead?
So what’s changed for me now that I have suddenly rediscovered the “magic?” I’m not sure. Maybe I’ve grown accustomed to this depressing scene and it doesn’t bother me as much anymore?
I have yet to complete my first post for the big guys and I am beginning to wonder if I might be frightened at the thought of putting my kids on display to such a large audience.
It’s Your Turn To Share: How do you recapture your ability to open up and communicate when things seem to be shutting down?
LJ